Want You Gone (ChellDOS)
by MyFangirlingKokoro
Summary: A series of drabbles and oneshots based of the ending song of Portal 2.
1. Chapter 1

Want You Gone (ChellDOS drabbles/oneshots)

_Well, here we are again_  
_It's always such a pleasure_  
_Remember when you tried to kill me twice?_

Nothing.

That's about as much Chell had to look at outside the facility. She had her freedom, but she had nothing for a view.

Well, nothing and wheat.

She stared at the little shack she'd just come out of, and then down at the companion cube that had come with her. She sighed and propped herself down on the little cube.

Now, Chell had, at this point, breathed in artificial oxygen, neurotoxin, and the oxygen lacking atmosphere of outer space. But she was utterly unsure she'd ever get used to /real/ air again.

She looked out at the seemingly endless fields of wheat, and an idea struck. But, no, Chell couldn't- she shouldn't- it would be idiotic to-

She banished the mere idea of going back. She was free now, and even nothingness had to be better than deadly testing and a verbally abusive AI.

Right?

Chell stared at the door for a moment, almost longingly. She desperately reminded herself that Aperture was falling apart, therefore unappealing, and that GLaDOS had basically kicked her out.

She took a moment to consider those things, and simply shrugged. She stood up and walked to the door of the small closet-sized shack she'd come out of. She hesitated and jiggled the door handle. Much to her surprise, it was unlocked and the elevator was still there. Once more she paused, taking a tentative step inside.

Just like always, the elevator reacted to weight increase. As it descended downwards, Chell was rethinking her decision, though sge couldn't come to regret it quite yet.

Yet. Because as soon as she was back in the facility and submerged in fake air, she had a feeling she'd made a mistake. This opinionated feeling strengthened when the lights flashed red and an electronic male voice calmly announced, "Intruder Alert."

Chell hadn't been noticed by anyone other than the voice yet, so she had some time to remember why she'd come back. Her eyes nearly sparkled at the view of GLaDOS she had from the elevator. Oh, she was beautiful. Chell's lips twitched into a smile as she let her mind drift into her idea of the perfect return to Aperture.

She was ripped out of her thoughts when GLaDOS spoke.

"_An intruder?_" The stunned AI demanded, spinning on her axis in search of whoever it was. She froze when she saw the figure in the elevator. "_Oh... my God.._"

Chell wiped half of the smile off her face and stepped out of the elevator. She offered a small wave as she walked closer to the machine hanging from the ceiling.

"_What are you-_" GLaDOS squeaked out, before calming down at least in appearance. "_What do you think you're doing back here?_"

Chell looked down at the solid black floor (that still had a few paint stains on it) and traced an imaginary circle with her foot in a way to say 'I missed you.'

"_You're still as mute as ever, I see,_" the AI retorted, and Chell could practically _hear_ the smirk in her voice.

The former test subject put her hands on her hips, lifting her head and rolling her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but as usual, nothing came out. She clapped both hands over her mouth.

GLaDOS let out a laugh. It wasn't a sinister laugh, or even a mocking one. It was an amused laugh, and it sounded almost... human. Chell thought about that for a moment.

It sounded like Caroline.

"_Oh,_" GLaDOS said once she recovered. "_You know what that reminded me of? A deer. A newborn deer. Trying to take its first steps and failing horribly. I saw a deer once. Compared to what you just did, it looked like a scholar._"

Chell's hands made their way back to her hips.

The two shared a rather intense staring contest, and GLaDOS was the first to give up.

"_Well, anyway, what are you doing here? Did you come back to kill me again? Once just isn't enough for you humans, is it? You have to keep coming back._"

Chell shook her head earnestly.

"_That's not why you're here? What is it, then?_" There was another laugh, only this time, it was in fact mocking. "_Oh, that's right, you can't tell me._"


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh how we laughed and laughed_  
_Except I wasn't laughing_  
_Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice_

Chell had repeatedly, without words, tried to explain to the AI that she wasn't there to kill her, but GLaDOS didn't seem to notice. Or care. The machine seemed rather preoccupied with something Chell couldn't quite put her finger on. Though it seemed it had something to do with her, she wasn't sure what.

GLaDOS pivoted back to face the former test subject and rolled her large yellow optic in a form of annoyance. "_Well if you aren't here to kill me, which wasn't funny, by the way, why did you even come back? I would expect that even you aren't too idiotic to know what to do with your freedom._"

Chell almost had to think about that for a moment. She couldn't have come back _just_ for GLaDOS, could she? No, of course not. That would be ridiculous. That being the case, why had she come back? She paused to consider that, and suddenly it came to her. Now, how to actually tell the AI...

It appeared as though a game of Charades was in order.

Chell pointed to herself once.

"_You..._" GLaDOS repeated slowly. "_Oh! Oh! Is the word 'annoying'?_"

Chell rolled her eyes, shook her head, and moved on. She pointed to the machine.

"_Me? What does this have to do with me?_" she asked.

Chell tried to think for a moment. She continued blankly pointing to GLaDOS until she thought of something. After a minute of such idiot pointing, she looped her arms around her head in the shape of the letter 'C'.

"_C... C... Companion Cube? I gave you back that incompetent piece of scrap metal, why did you need to come back?_"

Chell shook her head quickly.

"_Oh, oh! Cake! You want cake!_"

If Chell was able to speak only for the next ten seconds, she'd use that time to tell GLaDOS to shut up. But, since that was only a fantasy, she shook her head again. She made another 'C.' This time, however, she pointed her arms above her head to form an 'A.'

"_C... A..._" the AI gave a synthetic gasp. "_It is cake!_"

Chell turned away from GLaDOS and stared at the ceiling, letting out and audible groan.

"_Well, there's no need to get testy!_" she retorted, "_although I must say I think that's the most noise you've ever made._"

Chell rolled her eyes and sighed to calm herself and then turned back. Instead of trying something she knew her arms were incapable of doing, she raised her arms into a 'V' this time.

"_C... A... V... searching files..._" her optic rolled backwards for a moment, as if all these files were inside of her. Which, in a sense, they were. She looked back to Chell, almost showing human confusion. "_The only thing I could find under 'CAV' was 'Cave Johnson.' Is that...?_"

Chell nodded quickly, and for a minute, she almost smiled.

"_What do you need to know about Mr. Johnson?_" She paused as if she had some horrible taste on her tongue. "_Oh, sorry, I guess that name stuck after I deleted Caroline-_"

Chell nearly jumped into the air on her Long Fall Boots. She wanted to scream 'THAT'S IT' but instead she just nodded repeatedly.

"_Wait... you came back to learn about her?_" the disgust in the AI's tone was blatant. "_Why do you care?_"

Chell pointed to herself again, and then made a motion with her arms like she was carrying an infant.  
Then she pointed to GLaDOS once and made the CAV motions again.

GLaDOS stared blankly at her. "_You... what? Is that supposed to make sense?_"

Chell sighed and made the infant motions again. She then lretended to care for this imaginary baby. Then she pointed to herself.

"_You have a baby?_" GLaDOS guessed with bewilderment. "_I didn't think there was a man on earth who'd want to do that to you._"

Chell put her hands on her hips again, shaking her head once to show her resentment of that comment. She pointed to herself again, and with one hand still holding the invisible baby, she used the other to point to herself and then to the baby.

"_Wait... so you are the baby?_" GLaDOS asked slowly.

Chell nodded quickly, having to keep from jumping again. Then she pointed to GLaDOS.

"_Me? No, wait, Caroline?_" she asked.

Chell nodded. She pointed to the AI again, then held the imaginary infant.

"_So I'm a baby too?_"

The former test subject rolled her eyes and sighed.

"_Well excuse me for not being able to understand you. It's not my fault you're mute._" GLaDOS's optic rolled visibly.

Chell made the motions again. She hoped that this time it might make more sense, but was unlucky. In that, she was so annoyed she almost regretted coming back to Aperture.

"_Oh, I give up with this idiotic game. Get in the elevator and go up two floors. You'll find a pen and paper. Then you can write whatever it is down._"

Chell nodded and stepped back in. Everything would have been fine if the elevator wasn't clear. She went up more than two floors, and not only did the elevator keep going, but no paper was visible. Her face paled when a horrifying thought dawned on her. GLaDOS was trying to get rid of her.

The former test subject immediately banged on the clear door in an attempt to communicate 'Let me out!', but did not prevail. So Chell used what Aperture has taught her the most about: force. She elbowed the glass about five times when the glass finally weakened and cracked. The hole she'd made wasn't large, but with precision and the army of turrets on the floor she'd gotten to, she'd be safe. She rapidly waved her arms to a few of the devices still humming 'Cara Mia' to themselves. Their motion detectors caught sight of her and a plethora of bullets shot out. The glass shattered into shards instantly and Chell didn't hesitate a moment before jumping out.

Being on the turrets' floor put her at a disadvantage, but again, with precision, she could get out. She watched for a moment as the remains of the elevator sailed upwards.

She looked down at the tube it had come from, then back up at the transport. Then the former test subject had an idea. It was crazy, but it could work. She took a last look upwards, and then lept through the tube, saying a silent prayer to her Long Fall Boots.

Her prayer was answered when the fall didn't kill her. She stepped out of the tube and walked slowly until she was almost directly below GLaDOS.

"You," she mumbled. Chell didn't realuze she'd just spoken, as she was used to hearing a voice in her head.

The machinery spun around and looked down. When she saw Chell, her surprise wasn't at her presence so much as the sudden use of her vocal chords.

"_Is there someone else here? I swear I heard someone speak._"

"You tried to get rid of me!" Chell's voice was louder this time, and when it echoed through the lab, she realized what she'd done and clapped her hands over her mouth.

"_Of course I did._" GLaDOS replied calmly. "_I told you to leave before and- wait. You can talk_?"

Chell thought for a while before nodding confidently.


End file.
